MODULE ONE: LESSON TWO – UNDERSTANDING THE GRIEVING PROCESS – THE LOSS CYCLE.

Back to: HOW TO OVERCOME THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA FROM FAILED RELATIONSHIPS AND REBUILD YOUR LIFE POSITIVELY – BY DR GRACE ANDERSON.

Welcome back!

In this lesson, we will look in detail at the FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF as shown by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 2011 in her Book “On Death and Dying”.

She titled it “The Loss Cycle”. By the end of this lesson, you should know which stage of grief you are at currently, so you can start applying the coping mechanisms that we will look at in the next lesson to help you.

There are quite a few coping mechanisms that can help anyone start the process of recovery after such a painful event.

The first thing is to Accept that there is no going back.

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross,(From: On Death and Dying -2011), there are five stages of Grief after a loss of one’s loved one, either through death, or through a Breakup or Divorce.

Stage 1 – Denial. This is the stage where you don’t want to believe or accept that there has been a breakup.

Step 2 – Anger. At this stage you are very angry at what has happened – and that anger  can be directed at yourself or mainly your partner for leaving you or for creating this unpleasant situation.

Stage 3: Bargaining.

At this stage you are beginning to find the reasons for what happened. You could start to blame yourself and think that if you had done one or two things differently, maybe, this breakup would not have happened, etc.

Stage 4. Depression.

You now know that the situation is not going to change. There is no going back. Maybe, your Ex has moved out and you are now alone with your kids, if you have any. You feel totally helpless and fearful of what the future would hold for you. So, you are no longer able to sleep well, you jump at little disruptions, you are miserable and totally depressed. You are also crying a lot. This is perfectly normal.

Stage 5. Acceptance.

At this stage, you have stopped beating yourself up over what happened. You now accept that there is no going back. Maybe, you are now going through the divorce, or you have reached and amicable arrangement with your partner.

You are now living your separate lives. It’s over.

It’s now time to start looking ahead to a future without your Ex featuring prominently in it.

Accepting the situation does not necessarily mean that the emotional trauma has gone away entirely. It hasn’t. But you can breathe easier now.

Please complete this Lesson by watching the Full Video.

 

MODULE ONE: LESSON TWO.

UNDERSTANDING THE GRIEVING PROCESS.

Assignments for Lesson Two.

  1. Consider your own reactions to what has happened to you.

  2. What stage of grieving are you currently at?

  3. Get a Notebook and write down all the things you felt at the very beginning of your breakup, eg, while at the Denial Stage, the Anger Stage and the Bargaining Stage.

  4. What have you been doing to alleviate your pain?